No sugar?!

Do you know that I haven't had a Coke

since the beginning of last July?
Oh.my.golly.
That is so NOT OK.
I would be dying.
Dying I tell you!

Well, that's NOT necessarily true.

Two days before Winter Break,

I broke down and bought a Coke

from the Coke Machine that sits

in my copy room at school,

took it to my classroom,

popped the tab,

took 3 sips,

and had an instant headache

on top of my right temple.

UNBELIEVABLE.

So that was it.
I got rid of the Coke,
and I haven't looked back!
WOW!
Being the addict that I am,
I get the headaches if I don't drink it!

Side Note:  Do you know that in Texas

every soda is called a Coke?

It's a Texas thing.

You go to someone's house,

and they ask if you want a Coke.

Then they proceed to ask you

want kind of Coke do you want...

you ask what they have,

and they'll say, regular, diet, orange,

grape, Sprite,Pepsi, Dr. Pepper, etc.

How every soda became a Coke in the Lone Star State,

I have NO idea.

It's just a Texas thing.
I've heard that before and
I think it's so goofy!
To each his own.
Watch out, sista!
You're steppin' on my Texas pride!
If we want to call a Pepsi a Coke,
we will, and we'll do it with a nice Texas drawl!
Ha!  Rock on with your bad Texas self!
 

Anyway,

2 weeks ago I decided that since

I was doing so well without the Coke in my veins,

it was time to make another Life Change.

I am.....TODAY.....2 weeks with no sugar.

WOWZERS, Batman!

Now, if you're not a sweet tooth (like me)

you may say (as several of my friends have)....

What difference is THAT going to make?

Or....Are you sure that's a good idea?

Or....Maybe you should focus on exercising instead?

Hold up!

Can I just get a:

"Woot-Woot! Way to go, Queen Chaos!!!"
1.  No Coke?  Beyond impressed.
2.  No sugar?  Who are you?
3.  I would NEVER EVER
be able to do either.

It takes a skinny person to say to a fat person:

What difference is taking sugar out of your diet going to make?

Uhhhhhhhh....

This.Is.A.HUGE.Big.Fat.Hairy.Deal!
Ya think?!

I used to do Weight Watchers

(great program that worked for me as a Stay At Home Mom),
and I actually lost all of my weight
WHILE eating chocolate on a daily basis!

Ever since I went back to teaching, though,

I just CAN'T focus on counting points.

I've been too busy shoving chocolate in my mouth
Uh, we have rubbermaid tubs of chocolate
conveniently stashed in each other's rooms.
Yep, that's how we roll!

dealing with all of the teaching stress
added to my parenting/life stress to be able to

stop and think:
Wait a minute, this is NOT a good plan....

Let's count the points in that M&M pack
(Snickers Bar, Reese's Peanut Butter Cup, Oreo Cookie Pack--
insert any type of favorite chocolate here)

and see if I have enough points
saved up to have that chocolate today,

 No TIME for that!
Chew, Chew, Chew....
Gulp, Gulp, Gulp....
Chew, Chew, Chew....
Gulp, Gulp, Gulp....
Love how you're keeping it real!

Giving up my Coke (3 cans a day)
was hard but doable.
All I had to do is think
about my dentist hovering over me....
(Can't breathe! Can't breathe!)
and the desire for my favorite, red can would dissipate.
I thought to myself...
it's not easy for me to focus
and count the points anymore,
PLUS I seriously can't  make the meetings....
it's just too much for me, believe me I've tried.
I'm like an addict with my sugar,
and when I lost my weight before
through Weight Watchers,
I seriously had to go to the meetings
not once a week like they suggested,
but 3 times a week. Sad, but true.
Hey, nothing wrong with that.
If that worked for your life then,
more power to ya sista!
Hello, my name is Queen Chaos and I'm addicted to chocolate.
I'd say I'm her sponsor
but I'm more of an enabler.
Just saying...

 Confessions of a Choco-holic:
In the middle of the first week of giving up sugar,
I had a dream that I was eating cupcakes like a crazy woman,
crumbs were flying EVERYWHERE
as I shoved cupcakes in my mouth.
(I seriously don't eat that way in REAL life...
I'm not even a real big cupcake person,
so don't judge my dream world.)
All of a sudden I froze
with frosting smeared around my mouth
another cupcake in my hand,
crumbs all over the place,
and I thought in my dream brain:
"Oops....Something's not right!
Oh yeah....I'm supposed to be giving up sugar!"
Then I woke up.


MORE Confessions of a Choco-holic:
In the middle of my SECOND
week of giving up sugar,
I dreamt that I was enjoying 2 eclairs
(Now that COULD be real.)
when in the middle of my second one
I thought in my dream brain:
"Oh NO!!!
I haven't had sugar for 10 days,
what the heck am I DOING munching
on these eclairs????
Oh well, I'll start my no sugar routine
again right after I'm done eating THIS one."
Then...I woke up.           

Yup.
I have issues.

I'm actually dreaming about chocolate.
How crazy is that?
Your dream self is
SCREAMING
to your real self
WHAT ARE YOU THINKING?

OK....this is what I'm able to cope with....
I can have sugar in the form of juice (100% juice),
fruits, jelly, jam, and honey.
It's not really a diet,
I just don't do junky-monkey, sugary foods.
My brain may be frazzled,
but I can still tell if
something is a "dessert" or not,
even at my most exhausted times!
I eat anything else I want,
any time I want....
and surprisingly, this has been DOABLE for me.
Will I be able to keep it up?
Don't know.  But I'm trying.
I feel like my body won't make 60
if I keep going down the Sugar Express.
So...I pretend that I'm diabetic.
Not that I know the ins and out of diabetic eating rules,
I just know that sugar kind of puts me to sleep.
I get all funky, and I go into a Chocolate Coma.
So, of course, I eat more sugar to wake me up,
which puts me to sleep,
so I eat more sugar to wake me up,
which puts me to sleep,

so I eat MORE sugar to wake me up....

Do you see that there is something

not quite right with my thinking pattern?
I see a vicious cycle.

In honor of my Sugar Free Self,

I just had to throw in a

Charlie And The Chocolate Factory activity...
Wow.
Your sugar loss is our gain?
Hmmm....doesn't seem right.

Willy Wonka Labeling Sheets

 Label Willy Wonka by writing the words:

 Label Willy Wonka by cutting and gluing the words:

Just choose the version that's best for you class....
and....Enjoy!

 

My goal (and NO, Angela,

this is NOT a New Year's Resolution....

I know how you feel about those!),

it's just a goal (Mi meta-in Spanish),

is to make a month,

and then add in something else.

Something SMALL for the next one,

since this was a doozie!

I don't know....

not eating after 7pm,
So much for that popcorn
with your movie.

exercising so many times a week,
That's a novel idea.

lessening food portions,
The size of your fist
should be your portion size....
...or so I've heard.

something that's not a BIG, huge deal....

haven't decided yet.
Life is in the details.
Those 'little' details are 
actually a big fat hairy deal.

Just let me get to February 7th,

(or I may even wait until March 7th)

with no sugar,

and I'll decide then!

I am honestly beyond impressed
with you right now.
I kid you not,
 I wouldn't last a DAY
a.day.
living like this!

My goal (mi meta)

isn't necessarily to lose weight.

 Although I would like that,

and it would be a major, additional bonus!

My goal is to get healthier so that I can make it to 83,

and not keel over before I'm 60.

Can you believe I'm throwing around numbers like that?

Wow!  I AM old!  Oh well, better old than dead!

When I was young, my dad used to joke (or so I thought)

 that our family just keels over at 83,

so we all better prepare ourselves!

According to him, my great grandparents,

and other relatives just have a

heart attack at that magic number.

That's it. 83.

I would hear him, and I'd think:

Yeah, yeah, yeah, WHATEVER,

and then I'd go about doing

whatever little kid thing

(and as I grew.....whatever teenage thing)

I was doing.

Well.....let me

E-LUCIDATE yah!

My dad's dad ended up dying at 83.

My dad's mom died at 83.

They had been divorced for over 60 years,

led completely different lives,

and died of natural causes...

in other words,

my dad was not around snuffing them out!

But the clincher?

My MOTHER'S mother died at 83 in El Salvador.

REALLY??????
That's just spooky!

Can this REALLY be happening????

And NO.....

my dad wasn't there at the time, either!

Soooooo......to wrap it all up.....

Holy Schnikes, Batman!

I have a shelf life!
Well that's a hilarious way to put it!

I think my head is spinning!

Something peculiar is going on!

This means that I only have

40 more years left on my clock!

 That is.....

if I don't kill myself with chocolate

overload before then!

I think I can....I think I can....I think I can.....!

Excuse me, while I go make myself 2 pieces of toast with strawberry jam.

Introducing....AttaGirl Funnies

Confession time.

When I was a kid, 

I was so

NOT

the coolest,

the cutest,
the best dressed,

the richest,

(you know all the stuff that kids value).

But I could make my friends laugh.
If it makes you feel any better,
I was called Shirley Temple with black dandruff
in first and second grade--not fun.
Awww....
AND
I always wanted to be Farrah Fawcett 
in our Charlie's Angels gang on the playground....
but I ALWAYS had to be Kate.
Kate.
Hilarious!
That's like a death knell
to a girl with big dreams.
Somewhere Kate just went
"What's so bad about being me?
I am one of Charlie's girls after all?!"
But the blonde girl got
to be Farrah EVERY single time.
Also, can I just say that in second grade
I always wanted
the brown leather boots that zipped up
on the inside (in 1978 they were a BIG deal).
We are sooo showing our age with
Charlie's Angels and these boots.
So I finally convinced my mother
to get me some, but when we got to the store
I couldn't zip up the darn things!
My calves were too big for the boots!!!!
Careful, pretty soon you're going to admit
that leg warmers wouldn't fit either.  Shhh...
 Not only was I Kate....
I was a CHUBBY Kate!!!
Growing up isn't such an easy thing to do!
Oh, how I cried and cried and cried!

By 6th grade, all I wanted was
the long, straight, blonde hair that
would do the flip wings....
try that with my dark, curly locks.....
NOT going to happen. Like EVER.
Do you know that one day my mother
decided to send me to school
with my hair brushed out,
and this was the day that
the boy I had a crush on 
unbeknownst to me
was professing his LUV about me to his friends....
STOP!  Before you get to the bad part
that I fear is coming.  Let's focus on the
positive.  You had a crush on a boy
that liked you back.  
That's a big fat hairy deal in middle school.
As in that NEVER happens.
Revel in it....
revel....
revel....
Ok, moving on.
so I get to middle school with my hair
TOTALLY poofed out to the hilt.
If you don't have curly hair or you don't know
someone with curly hair, you need to know this:
You DO NOT brush curly hair....not unless
you're ready to pop into the shower because....
 it grows into a ginormous puff ball.
Seriously.
Do.Not.Brush.
So I show up to school,
his friends are all laughing HYSTERICALLY,
and he's sitting in the cafeteria
with his beet red face hiding behind his hands.
He wouldn't even look at me.
I'm sad for both of you.

He ended up with a straight-haired girlfriend,
Of course he did.
To this day, he's probably praying
that his children don't get naturally curly hair
on account of the flashbacks.
Sorry, I couldn't resist.
and I didn't have a boyfriend
until MUCH later in life.
OK. Enough ranting.
Enough about ME....
Angela I was just trying to commiserate!
Sorry for just going on and on...
it's just that no one listens to me in the real world!
Ha!  Another reason bloggin'
is therapeutic!
Ok....whew! Gotta stop!
Go on, please!

Being funny doesn't sound like a very

'marketable' trait but that was me.

Well some things never change.

I'm still not 

the coolest,

the cutest,
the best dressed,

the richest,

(you know all the stuff that most folks value).

But I can still make people laugh.
She made me laugh so much when
I first "met" her that my husband
thought I had lost it when I would
just giggle and snort while reading my emails!
That's when I KNEW that this lady
needed to be blogging!
I was the lucky one who got her to
be my blogging buddy.
Aww...shucks.
To quote Angela--Jealous much?
 Shirley Temple with black dandruff knows 
a good thing when she sees it!

Have you seen those someecards all over Pinterest?
I have always loved reading
them and getting a chuckle or two.

Target has even sold

merchandise with those
someecard jokes on them.

Did you know that anybody,

yes even YOU,

can make a someecard?
Uh...yeah, right.
She makes it sound soooo easy,
but really?  Not so much.
It takes a lot of talent to
say something short and
sweet that makes
people stop and laugh.

You go to their site,

pick a color,

pick a picture,

type your text, 

and voila!

A someecard to share with the world.

Check out their site
right here.
You can start your own account
and send cards to all of your peeps!
You're welcome.

Angela, THAT'S really why I like you so much,
I always think that the best teachers share!

I would often create an ecard

to go with the theme of our blog posts.

I'd pin it on Pinterest

and then watch it get pinned

anywhere from 100 to 300 times.
AND have it quoted in a completely
different state by other teachers
at the copy machine!

WHAT?!  That's cray-cray!

But I sooooo enjoy relating to other

teachers and making them laugh.

So my buddy Regina,

you know the one I haven't

even met yet,
Yes, that's me,
Shirley Temple with the black dandruff....
oops, I mean Queen Chaos
I have GOT to remember that I'm 43 and not 7.
I've come a long way since then!
After all, I may not be an Angel...
but I AM a QUEEN. 

but we have this little blog 

going on,

(We're so cool!)

anyways,

that chick suggested

I make my own cards.

Hmmm......

So she came up with
a cool title:

AttaGirl Funnies.

(BTW-the A and F are my initials.  
Isn't she clever?)
Clever or Crazy?

Well she is a bit crazy
because Regina offered to draw
the "image" of Attagirl
that I had in my head.
She promised to keep drawing
until the picture was exactly
what I wanted.
I have to say that
making AttaGirl's
blonde, feathered hair

gave ME flashbacks!
Jealous much Kate?!

Nope.

I have come to love

and appreciate my

dark curls, big calves, chaos,

and everything else that adds up 

to make ME!

"I yam what I yam"...

it just took me

35 years to figure that one out!

I asked her to make "me."

A tired, 
disheveled, 
and basically overwhelmed

teacher.

IV drip, 
a.k.a. my Coke in one hand,
with my bookbag weighing me down,
laptop, pile of books, and papers
in the other arm.

Yep, that's me!

Check her out!

So I'm gonna try this.

When you see these 
AttaGirl Funnies pinned

on Pinterest.

You can say,

"I know where they started."
Feeling down,
overwhelmed,
need a pick me up?
AttaGirl to the rescue!

Want to download this for the teacher's lounge?
Click here for the freebie.

P.S.  I hope they make you laugh.

Have you ever...?????

Want to download this for a laugh
in the teacher's lounge?  Click here for the freebie.

Have you ever had a day when a student

decides to put underwear on his head

and run around the playground during recess?

No?

Me neither!

....but....
.....just in case....

Days like this make you want
to whip out Aliens Love Underpants
by Claire Freedman and just make a day of it!
Can't beat 'em, join 'em!

Have you ever had a day

when you get out of a grade level meeting,

go to your classroom where your

students are supposedly lined up and waiting for you,

and instead they are in sheer chaos

because someone found a pair of underwear

and flung it into the nearby bushes?
Did you just keep walking by?
Fairy Tales and Fiction, my friend...
Fairy Tales and Fiction.

Ever have a day like that?
No?

Me neither!

Have you ever had a day when you
go  into your classroom bathroom
you lost me at "classroom bathroom"
What's that?
and find a bunch of discarded clothing...
a pair of pants, a shirt, a couple of socks...
and you think to yourself:
"OK....WHO is running around this school, naked?"
Oh no they didn't!
Seriously?
So you totally have to explain this one!
Explain what?
Asking a question does not equate to admitting

that such actions ever have occurred.
Oh.my.golly!

Mystery Clothes?
Anyone?
No?
Never happened to you?
Me neither!

Have you ever had a day

before a long, much needed holiday break

when the custodian brings your
bathroom trash can to you,

gives you THE LOOK,
 
and lets you see inside the trash can

where there is a substantial pool of yellow liquid

floating around the bottom.

Then you just give him THE LOOK back,

stick your fingers in your ears,

and say, "La,la,la,la,la,la" until he leaves?
Denial ain't just a river in Egypt my friend!

No ACTUAL words EVER being exchanged?

No?

Me neither!

Days like these, would make me want to pull out
No, David! by David Shannon:
My kids love, love, love this book!

 No, David! Label Sheets

Choose the best format for your students.
They can either write the words to label David,
or they can cut and glue the label words in order to label David.
Happy Labeling!
My kids love your
"I can label" sheets.
Add No, David! to them
and they'll really be geeked about them.
Thanks for sharing!

If you like my labeling sheets...
check out my bundle of 62 different labeling activities!

Purchase the bundle to save $$$!

Have you ever had a day

when one of your students accidentally

peed in one of your reading buckets

and couldn't stop, so that the

entire bottom was swishing with liquid,

and the best thing you could do was to

slide her (still inside the Rubbermaid tub) towards the

tiled floor and have her wait for the nurse

who brought an entire new outfit for her to wear

including new shoes and socks?
Oh.my.golly.
She'll be talking about this
day in therapy when she's older.
Not.even.kidding.
...Luckily, this is just a tale of make believe...

Ever have a day like that?

No?

Me neither!

Have you ever had a day
when a student at your computer station
(wearing the large, padded, elementary school headset)
suddenly screams, "Aaaaaaaaaahhhhhh",
jumps up, runs to the bathroom, and slams the door.
When he comes out... the headset is still on his head,
the chord is broken and dangling,
the metal connection piece is still stuck in the computer,
and he didn't quite make it in time?
Hey, when you gotta go, you gotta go!

Anyone? Computer Issues?
No?
Me Neither!

 For those special occasions:
No David Graphic Organizers!

 Write 3 sentences about David:
David is...
David has...
David can...

 No David: Bubble Organizers

Draw a picture of  David,
and write 3 sentences or 3 things about him.

 Have you ever had a day when one
of your students tossed a stuffed animal
high into the air and it landed on top of your
hanging, classroom lights that are 10 feet
above the ground....and then you had to
make an emergency call to the custodians
to bring the high ladder to get the stuffed animal
before a fire started?
Aw snap!  Hate when THAT happens!

Anyone? Anyone?

No?

Me neither! 

 Have you ever had a day when one
of your students pulled the school
fire alarm TWICE in one week,
and the ENTIRE school had to stop
what they were doing and exit?
Oh no he didn't!

BONUS:  One of those times was during Picture Day,
and the other time was right at dismissal,
so all of the teachers had the joy of finding and
corralling their students in order to give the proper head count?
....And then your name was mud at the next faculty meeting?
In your defense, those alarms are way
too close to the ground!
Like seriously,
install them up a few more feet 
and this wouldn't happen.
I don't know what you're talking about...
Who says it happened at all?

Have any of YOU had a day like that?

No?

Me neither!

No, David! youtube.com uploaded by simicrane

No, David! Character Puppets

Print in color or black and white and attach to a popsicle stick.

Attach the word "NO!" to the back of the puppet and retell the story.

Thank you, Cara Taylor, on TPT for the fabulous 
clip art!

Have you ever had a day
when the school district told you that
you had only a certain number of workbooks
that you needed to REALLY take care of
because those were ALL the workbooks you
would get for the rest of the school year....
and then (on that same day) one of your students
proceeds to throw up on not only his workbook,
but on 3 other workbooks at his table
(as well as the table container that held
that table's crayons, pencils, scissors, and glue)?
Bag those 4 workbooks up,
interoffice mail them to whoever told you
that's ALL the workbooks you get and ask
"Are you sure about that?"
Anyone? Supplies Issues?
No?
Me Neither!

Have you ever had a day

when one of your students stood up, 

ran to the bathroom,

and on her way accidentally peed

on 8 other students who were lying down, napping?

Making it so that you had to make 9

very interesting phone calls?
The germaphobe in me
feels the need to go take a shower.
BLEK!
Can anyone top that one?

No?

Me neither!

 No, David! Blank Writing Paper with
different lines for your different writing styles:

Here I go again with lots of writing options...
it's a sickness, I can't help myself!

Have you ever had a day,
when your girls decide to secretly play beauty salon
and color their lips and their fingernails
with markers at the writing station?
"Washable" is a beautiful thing!
Or how about a day when they decide
to use the glitter glue as a hair accessory?
Now that's a sticky situation.
Buh-dum-bump!
Sorry, I couldn't resist!

Beauty School?
Anyone?
No?
Me Neither!

Have you ever had a day 

when one student vomits,
and it set off an uncontrollable

chain reaction in your classroom

so that there is throw-up EVERYWHERE you turn?
la, la, la, la, la, now I'm not listening!

Can anyone relate?

No?

Me neither!

MORE
No David! Writing Paper:
My favorite part is when...

My favorite part is when I have a really calm day at school,
and everything runs like clockwork!
You lost me at "really calm day"
and "everything runs like clockwork!"
I mean we do teach Kindergarten.
That may happen once a month.
Maybe.
Not usually.
All bodily excretions are disposed of accordingly
in the correct receptacles,
and everyone is on task and kind to one another.
Oh, wait!
This writing paper is for the KIDS....right!

"I am the teacher, I am in control,
I am the teacher, I am in control...."
Bwa-ha-ha-ha-ha!

Have you ever had a day

when a student made an arrow

out of paper, wrote the word "___  SS" on it,

(with the two letter S's written backwards)

 held it too his chest so that

when he walked around the room his

arrow/sign was pointing to anyone and everyone

who stood next to him?
WOW!  Even I am speechless on that one.
....And YES, I'm talking about a 5 year old!

Arrows?
_sses?
Anyone?

No?

Me neither!


No David! Writing Paper:
I can follow the rules when...

Here's hoping that you NEVER

have one of THOSE days...

and that you were able to

HONESTLY answer:

Me, neither!

To those of you who had one, or two, or more

memories that could relate....

I feel your pain!

Uuuuhhhh...
I mean:

What are you talking about?
That's the CRAZIEST thing I ever HEARD!
Who comes up with this stuff ???!!!

I live in a perfect Kindergarten Kingdom,

where my answer will ALWAYS be:

"Me Neither!"
 ....

*AttaGirl Funnies by Angela Furgal AKA Fairy Funtastic*

If you see this pinned somewhere else...know that you saw it here first!

We hope these No David! activities will help 

in reminding your students about all of those

expectations that may have "fallen out of their head"

over the two week break.  Welcome back!