Saturday, July 9, 2016

The Grass Is Not Always Greener...Just Ask Green Wilma!

DISCLAIMER:  Written in April 2016
Published in July 2016.

Life is stressful as a teacher.
My hair is falling out.
That's not even funny.
The same thing happened to one of
our teachers this year!

I am having a mid-life crisis.
I really think the "mid" in that sentence
is irrelevant.  In this job, those crisis'
are not a respecter of age.

Can anyone relate?
I'm sure several can.

Our lovely Librarian's Assistant
is retiring this year.
Kudos to her.

The other day.
I was in a meeting.
An after school meeting.
As in after hours.
Not getting paid.
But required to be there.
Of course.
Of course...

Out of the corner of my eye.
I caught our library assistant.
She was swinging her purse.
Over her shoulder.
Free of a workload.
And leaving the building.
Peace out!
With a bounce in her step.
And peace in her heart.
Without a backward glance.
Why would she?
Or concern.
For what?
Of the meeting.
That was happening.
Where I was.
Looking at her.
She wasn't getting paid.
 So she left.
That makes sense. 
Complete sense.
Don't you think?

She had:
No homework.
No To-Do List.
No heavy bag.
Filled with papers.
She was just leaving.
Until the next day.
When she would get paid.

And yes, dear reader.
I am fully aware.
That my sentences are full.
Of grammatical errors.
Remember me?
The one having a mid-life crisis?
Judge me. 
No judgement here sista!
My contract says 7.5 hours a day.
There aren't many teachers who do that.
Just saying...
Why do I work closer to 20?
Because you are dedicated.
...but dedicated all the same.
Maybe that is why
My madness must stop.
I called up Payroll.
And had a nice chat.
With a kind lady.
Who sent me the specs.
Of what would happen.
To my paycheck.
If I applied.
And became.
The Library Assistant.

With my deductions.
I currently take.
Out of my paycheck.

I would officially be making.
Negative 17 dollars a paycheck.
That's twice a month.
Which comes out
To a grand total.
Of  -$34.00 a month.
To be the library assistant.
Leaving the building.
Instead of sitting.
In a meeting.
After hours.
Not being paid.

Did she honestly say that to you?
Like, without apologizing?

Or was she in as much shock as I am
as I read this?!


 I should just keep focused.
On the speaker.
And not let my eyes wander.
During my meeting.
My after school meeting.
That is required.
Without being paid.
Nod and focus.
Jot some notes.
Doodle-bug notes.
It could be worse.
I could be making.
-$34.00 a month.
I now see that negative thinking.
Will put me in the negative.
I am somehow.
Feeling wise.
Woooo.....that was good.
I'm going to type it again
in case anybody glossed over that.

Regina now sees that negative thinking
will put her in the negative.
(oooh, aaah)

I am positive.
I must make a change.
I am positive.
I can do this little thing
Called: TEACHING. 
I am positive.
I need to relax.
I am positive.
I have a massage.
Scheduled tomorrow.
I am positive.
My hair will be done next week.
By a professional.
I am positive.
No more hair dye in a box.
I am positive.
A mani-pedi.
Is on my new To-Do List.
I am positive.
About all these things.
After all.
I have much more money.
Than I thought!

It's worth repeating that this post 
was written in April.  
It is now July. 
And although another school year is on it's way,
dare I say that your hair is staying put now?
(fingers crossed that you say yes!)

I really did feel like I was losing my hair
until the hairdresser cut off 6 to 8 inches
(without exactly asking my permission)
and then I ended up looking like a
French poodle-puff-ball walking around.
I can’t complain though…
I haven’t felt like I’m balding since then.
My hair is definitely thinner than when I was in my twenties,
but who can actually claim baldness
as they walk around with a poofy head?

Post Script: 
Just in case you'd like to know:
Since then I've gotten another email
from my kind payroll informant,
and she let me know that actually I'd get
an extra $70 something dollars a month
for having my degree....
so I was wrong. 
Really...I'd make around
$8.00 a week after taxes.
He he thanks.
I am staying on my side of the fence,
or should I say, 'hallway'?
Uh, yah.  $8.00 wouldn't even
put gas in your car to get you to work!
Focus, Regina!
The grass is NOT always greener!
When's that massage again?

the other day as I was writing with
my fabulous green pen which brings
a smile to my face in meetings...
I thought about Green Wilma.
Who also brings a smile to my face!
Thank you Tedd Arnold!
Your work is amazing!

 Have students write 3 sentences about Green Wilma:

Bubble Graphic Organizer For Green Wilma:

Have students draw a picture of Green Wilma,
and then either write three describing words, or 3 sentences about Green Wilma.

 Enjoy! And don't forget that:
The Grass Is Not Always Greener!
And if it is,
it may be that there is more SH**
on that side of the fence!
AW SNAP!  I went there!